3 Ways To Connect To A Special Needs Mom

Mommy and Me

Have you ever seen a special needs mom and thought, How does she do it? I could never do it myself. You walk away thinking she is a super hero.  But if you had a conversation with her, she’d probably disagree. She’d say, “I am not super human, I’m just a mom.”

And here is the secret to connecting with a special needs mom; we have the same title: mom. We both have diapered, fed, cuddled and loved on our kids. We both do our best to keep our little ones alive, happy, and safe. We both celebrate a sleeping child at the end of the day. We both rejoice when we’ve made it through another 24 hours.

So how can you connect with a special needs mom? Here are three suggestions.

Encouragement:

Tell the mom what a great job she is doing. An uplifting word has tremendous power. We were at a restaurant when approached by a dad who complimented us on doing a great job of raising our son, Samuel. We then found out he had several children of his own… many who were adopted. Yet, he admired us as parents.

He thought we had a hard job because Samuel has special needs. But we marveled at his parenting so many well adjusted, kind, respectful kids. It’s all about perspective.

His words encouraged and invigorated us.

Sharing Your Experience:

Special Needs Mom
Samuel’s Little Hand

Tell a story of something that helped your child. When my son had the flu, I shared it on Facebook. One friend suggested Mucinex another recommended a humidifier and Colloidal Silver.

My mommy friends shared their experiences, reached out and offered tips to help Samuel get well. They shared what worked for them. They are not special needs moms, but sharing their mommy stories helped me raise mine.

Ask Questions:

Use your curiosity to connect with a special needs mom. Over the years we have had many people ask us questions when we are in public. I appreciate questions because it gives me an opportunity to educate and inspire others through Samuel’s miracle story of survival from a lethal form of dwarfism. I also love talking about my son…what mom doesn’t?

A great question to ask could be, “How old is he?” And after a bit of conversation, another great question is, “What is his diagnosis.” Avoid questions like, “What is wrong with your child?” Or, “What does he have?”

At the end of the day, there are many commonalities we moms have with each other. As mothers we all encounter fear, worry, stress, joy, and happiness to name a few. Find areas where your motherhood journeys intersect. We are more alike than we realize. These are just a few ways to connect, encourage and uplift.

We are more alike than we realize. Click To Tweet

Have you ever met a special needs mom? How did you connect? Share your story in the comments below. I’d love to hear it. I read each one.

Written by Evelyn Mann

Author, Miracle In My Living Room: The Story of a Little Mann

Featured Photo by Dawid Sobolewski on Unsplash

A Miracle Turns Twelve Years Old

March 13, 2018

6 Thoughts on 3 Ways To Connect To A Special Needs Mom

  1. Thanks so much for this! I particularly appreciate the suggestion about phrasing the question as diagnosis. Such a great tip. Because I’m too often unsure of what to say, I err on the side of not saying anything. Which doesn’t communicate the love, acceptance, and camaraderie I wish it did. Thanks for sharing and educating me!

    Reply
    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Liz. I agree it can feel uncomfortable, but knowing how to ask can sometimes help. Since Samuel can’t tell me, I once asked another trached lady what it felt like to be suctioned. She helped me to understand my own son better. I was so thankful she was open and willing to share even though we’d only met inside the grocery store. Sometimes, just asking a question can bring people together. Smiles, Evelyn

      Reply
  2. As a mama to eight, including an eleven year old with Angelman Syndrome, I couldn’t agree more. Special needs parenting often feels isolating. There’s so much my son can’t do and that’s what everyone focuses on.

    I love it when people take time to talk to my son instead of talking over him like he isn’t even there. That’s another way people can help – just say hello and smile even though the child with special needs may not be able to return the greeting.

    Reply
    • Great comments, Lisa. Love knows no bounds. And love can be seen in saying hello to a sweet child who isn’t able to reply, but I believe knows you are there and feels loved by your attention. Isn’t that what we all want…love. Smiles, Evelyn

      Reply
  3. This is beautiful. There are so many people that are afraid of what they don’t understand and either become too intrusive or step back. Thank you for giving practical advice. We are all moms, no matter what we are dealing with.

    Reply
    • Thank you, Nicole for confirming the truth that we are all moms and can support each other in our circumstances. That helps not only build community but helps other moms not feel alone. Thanks for being a special person/mom to see these truths. Smiles, Evelyn

      Reply

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