To Post Or Not To Post: A Mother’s Choice

Will my son mind I am posting pictures of him to social media? This is the conundrum most parents are facing with sharing a post of an of their adorable child’s momentous and not-so momentous moments.

Post A Picture Worth A Thousand Words
The Joy of a Smile.

Raising my firstborn, I snap a myriad of pictures of my miracle boy. Proud mom? You bet.

Most times, the comments I see aren’t, “My, how he has grown.” Because, as a child with dwarfism, growth happens very slowly. I notice slowly too. A shirt fits too tightly, or a onesie doesn’t snap closed. But, the pictures give hints of the transition.

Post A Picture Offering Hope
Samuel grows into his big boy bed.

The pictures also chronicle the making of a miracle. When a mother is given a potential diagnosis of Thanatophoric Dysplasia meaning death-bringing, it’s devastating. The hopeful pregnancy becomes a distressing circumstance, to say the least.

Now, imagine this same mother searching the internet and finding a picture of a joyous, happy ten-year old. Shock, unbelief, and relief combine together as hope begins to fill her heart. I’d wished I’d seen such a picture when Samuel was born. However, I did not. Instead, I was counseled not even to look on the internet.

I did finally look…I had too. I needed to know. I found many pictures of sonograms but no survivors. No images of sweet button noses, dimpled smiles or a video of a child’s belly laugh. I had no way of knowing my son would grow to have a happy temperament which would light up my world and all who would come to know him.

A Post Inspires Hope
A Smile That Melts The Heart

How could I know? I had no evidence or proof to the contrary.

This is a major reason I post pictures of my son. To give this proof. To fill the heart of a mother with hope. To show miracles happen.

The question remains, would my son mind his proud mother displaying him in most of his glory all over social media? I read in another article about this topic where a mom asks her 8-year old and 10-year old for permission to post. I contemplate this strategy but quickly dismiss it. Why? Because my son is non-verbal.

Elmo and Samuel
Daddy & Samuel watching Elmo

And, as much as my son loves his I-Pad filled with his favorite Elmo videos, he has no concept of Facebook or any other social media. This is the challenge of developmental delay. Will he achieve this awareness? Time will tell.

When another mom receives news from the medical establishment like I had, they can now search the internet and see Samuel’s belly laugh on You Tube. Further research would reveal my son’s website or Facebook page. For these mothers to see a survivor, they can then advocate for their children and hopefully inspire doctors to believe as well.

I have been in contact with many mothers who were given hope from a simple picture. And, as a mother who was given no hope, I know how valuable an image can be. A snapshot of my son laughing could give another child a chance at life.

A Post Inspires Hope
Inspiring Hope
Two Weeks To Ten Years Old: A Picture Inspires Hope Click To Tweet

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Post or not post, that is the question.

Written By Evelyn Mann

Author, WIP, A Miracle In My Living Room

Growing In Slow Motion: Thanatophoric Dwarfism

June 9, 2016

Adventures Of A Special Needs Mom

June 9, 2016

7 Thoughts on To Post Or Not To Post: A Mother’s Choice

  1. Evelyn you are giving hope…discovering Samuel’s bellie laughs and huge smiles as a living 10year old baby with TD made me believe all things were possible even though my Michael is an Angel now you and Samuel made his precious 2months of life not so scary instead we had hope because of you. You will never know just how much that meant our family. Please continue to inspire other family’s the way you did our!

  2. Another reason I encourage you the way you encouraged me, is parents need to know so they can educate the doctors who can choose to believe in these babies or give up before they ever have a chance. My son would still be with me if only I could have convinced them to believe in him. Samuel is hope, belief and encouragement, that the world needs to know about if other TD babies have a chance. Please continue to prove them wrong my friend!

  3. I have had many people tell me my son is in a better place he would have suffered to much in this world. I say to them does it look like Samuel suffers he is one of the most happy loving babies ever! Keep smiling and proving them wrong Samuel!

  4. I stumbled apon your blog when I was pregnant and told I was having a dwarf. I was not I had a undiagnosed pregnancy complication that nearly cost me and my son’s life. I haven’t been able to have any more children and my only son is disabled. Sometimes it is hard not to be envious of other famailes and you imagine if only. But such thoughts I find only stop me enjoying fully what I have. Some days are downers when I feel utterly alone and sad. On these days I feel it is important not too get angry with myself because some days will be like that. It is out of my control. I don’t want to dwell by being critical of myself, I want it to pass as quick as possible. But most days when I start having these negative thoughts I stop and I ask myself.

    “What do I want to feel at the end of the day? Do I want to be happy. Or do I want to not sleep because I have been upset all day”

    I choose being happy. Most times it works for me but not all.

    You are choosing to be happy, to enjoy motherhood, share you experience with others and celebrate your son. That is a healthy choice.

  5. What a beautiful post!! Visiting via CFL Bloggers.
    I can only imagine, as a mom myself, what getting news like that must have been like, yet what an amazing blessing and miracle he truly is.
    So precious and adorable!

  6. I think he would be proud, and maybe a little embarrassed when he is much older, but mostly proud of you. Samuel does indeed bring hope and even joy to me and my family ever time we see a picture or even video of him. I pray every day for Samuel and your family to continue doing the great works that you are doing. I believe that God has a great purpose for you all.

  7. Samuel is an absolute miracle how adorable is he. I am a mother also of a baby which was diagnosed at 20wks with thanatopic dysclasia i was told her life expectancies was basically 0 so with this i gave birth to my beautiful baby girl DEC 16th 2018 at 20wks +2days you carry on doing what you’re doing sweetie because you have one Special little boy. Sending you and samuel so much love and respect 💖


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